Tag: Yoga

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Love Begins with Me

Katie

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~The Buddha

I’ve come to realize that my years of coming to India to partake in Panchakarma is an embodiment of this quote. It has taken some time to nurture this seed of self love, but a beautiful flower has been growing in my heart, and tending to it requires diligence. How can we love others genuinely and with compassion and joy if we don’t maintain a reservoir of love stored up in the well of our own heart? What are you doing, dear Reader, to care for yourself?

For me, coming to India for the first time in 2016 was the turning point on the idea that taking care of myself with the nourishment, time, and tenderness that I deserve is actually not a selfish act. This was a radical shift for me, and not one that came easily–it was actually tinged with guilt and self doubt. Who was I to leave my home and family for a month or more at a time and go to a retreat where I could rest in my bathrobe all day and receive massages and have someone cook every meal for me? Even as I enjoyed the treatments in those early days, I can remember feeling a kind of guilt that I had the resources to experience such deep healing work. I even felt “bad” that my therapists had to work on my body–and on so many of us privileged people with time and resources to take time out of “doing life” and instead enjoy the beauty of being in the hands of therapists and doctors who have treated me with more love and care than I had offered myself for most of my life. In my struggle with self worth I found self care, and it has made more difference in my life than I could ever explain here in this post. So I’ll just pop in a few pics of the meals the past couple days, and this food is absolutely a gift of love from our chefs: Indrani, Magheshwari, and Mahalakshmi:

In the years before I found Ayurveda and an abiding meditation practice, I marveled at just how much I was able to get done, how many people I could teach, serve, care for… how my husband and I did what so many parents did: the “divide and conquer” days and nights of getting kids up in the morning, going to games, helping them with homework, and still putting homemade food on the table for a “family dinner,” followed by my own crazy combination of grading student essays building a home, and opening a yoga studio simultaneously. Just thinking about that organized chaos makes my body and brain hurt. And yet, we did it, and with a lot of joy, even if we were completely exhausted every. single. day. Thank God for Declan who supported me every moment of that whirlwind. And he still does, knowing that this time in India is an annual reboot, the reminder I need that it feels good to treat my whole being–body, mind, heart, and spirit–with love and with admiration. It’s easy, at least for me, to get sucked back into the cycle of filling every calendar opening with retreats and yoga teacher trainings, but I am happy to say (pat myself on the back), that I am not pushing so hard anymore. I love the work I do in the world. I love teaching yoga and sharing it with others in my studio, on retreats and in trainings, and if ever that joy feels parched, I know it’s nearly time to pack my bags and head on my sojourn. Balance is just waiting for me to hold it in my hands, like this little cup of ghee I am taking for the next 4 days:

Here at the retreat I slow down, walk among the lantana, listen to the birds at sunrise, practice yoga, meditate, laugh and cry with my dear friends, receive beautiful oil massages, and eat delicious food. I remember I am more than my work, and I am more than my body and my mind. At such a crazy time at home in the US, it feels strange to pack a bag and walk away. It could be seen as a check out; but really I am checking in. Deep in. What I’ve learned is that if I want to be of service in the world, I need to take good care of this soul vessel. I’m still learning to feel fully worthy, but for those who are here on this journey with me, we talk about how we can’t imagine life before these years together up here in the Nigiri Mountains. Happy Valentines Day to us, this circle of precious friends who have dedicated this time, like me, to do the deep and beautiful work that is self love. We deserve this.

Happy Valentines Day to myself, to my beloved Declan holding down the Dragonfly fort at home, to my wonderful family, my dear yogis and friends who cheer me on my way each year I come back hOMe to India, and to my sweet friends here with me sharing this time at the retreat. I love you all.

Katie xoxo

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The “Quint” Essentials

Katie

The 5 Elements of Ayurveda, the 5 Koshas of Yoga, and the Urge (?) to Purge

Our first week here in India has been nice and slow. I’d say sweet too, with long easy walks through the hillsides, picking flowers, and visiting the cow that gives us the milk and ghee (clarified butter) for the retreat. There are daily chats with Dr. Sundara about my overall health, covering everything from physical body issues to what’s going on in my mind, to memories and traumas, to the food I’m eating and what each bit means to my physiology and overall well being. I’m here a for a full month with my dear friend, Karin, who is the most wonderful travel partner and such a sweet sister to me; and John, my “brother from another mother” and co-leader in our 3-week retreat that begins tonight here at Mountaintop.

So it’s been so good. And a little bit hard too.

I’m just through a 5 day ghee and purgation week, and I’m telling you, Panchakarma is no joke. What is Panchakarma, you ask? It is a specific group of Ayurvedic therapies that involve the five (pancha) karmas (actions) that aid in cleansing the body of accumulated toxins (ama) with the purpose of restoring one’s health and vitality. Sound good? It is! But I’ll admit, there are challenging moments along the way. In the midst of purgation I have told myself “That’s it. This is the last time.” Now don’t get me wrong. I love ghee. I eat copious amounts of ghee each day at home, slathered on my toast. omg, so good! But when you are drinking it straight up with herbs… it’s a bit of a different story. My first day was 30 mls or 2 tablespoons. No sweat for me. The next day 60 mls. The next day 90. Then 120, the most I’ve ever had. Swallowing that last bit was tough, but I sent it down the hatch with love, knowing this medicine is wise beyond my understanding. Moving my body got a little harder each day as we added more ghee to my morning medicine. It literally slows you down as it saturates your cells. A simple walk became a slow-mo stroll, and with such a lovely view.

When doing the ghee cleanse, each day lunch consists of a little pot of kitchari (a thick stew made of lentils and rice), some lime, and rock salt, and for dinner there is a brothy soup and another little bowl of kitchari. After 5 days of kitchari, broth, and hot water, my tastebuds were even tired! Yesterday was purgation day, and that means, well… you need to be near your bathroom! And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

But when you come out the other side of the cleanse, it’s like having been a caterpillar turning to a pile of moosh inside a cocoon, and then miraculously emerging as a brand new beautiful butterfly. Today is the first day out of that cocoon, so I’m feeling tender, but joyful. I know I’ve let go of things on every layer, and I feel lighter, sweeter, clearer.

I’m excited for the next leg of the PK journey, which is to deeply nourish body, mind, and soul–to replenish the being on all levels. This rejuvenation is called Rasayana, and it works from the macro to the micro-cellular level as it restores the vital fluids of the body, boosts our vital life force, or Ojas, and nourishes the immune system, which enhances our body’s innate wisdom to protect us from illness and disease, and gives us greater access to health and longevity as we age. At age 54, I’m all about that!

Back to the cocoon for a second. The way I see it, we can either choose to do the deep physiological, emotional, and spiritual work we are meant to do on this planet and evolve, or perhaps not. Ayurveda and the deep dive cleanse of Panchakarma help facilitate this unraveling, transformation, and replenishing. Think of it this way: our beings are multilayered and complex: we are a densely-packed field of energy, and each layer is essential to our survival as a spiritual being inside a human body. In yoga we look at the five Koshas, or sheaths (picture one of those Russian dolls layered one inside the next). And we have things to purge on every level of our being, not just in our physical bodies. If you don’t know much about these layers, they go like this:

  • Annamaya-kosha (food sheath, Earth element)
  • Pranamaya-kosha (vital sheath, Water element)
  • Manomaya-kosha (mental sheath, Fire element)
  • Vijnanamaya-kosha (intellect/intuitive sheath, Air element)
  • Anandamaya-kosha (bliss sheath, ether/space element)

Annamaya is the most dense layer of our being. It is everything we can palpate: skin, bones, muscles, organs and tissues. This kosha is responsible for our survival, and it is through this layer that we experience the physical world and are able to interact with all of Nature.

Pranamaya is the next subtle layer, synonymous with the energy being. This is the level of the chakras. When we breathe we not only bring in oxygen for all the tissues of our physical body, but we take in Prana, vital life force energy, and this feeds our subtle body system, allowing life force energy to flow throughout the body. As a result, Pranamaya kosha is often called the “vital” sheath, as it plays a prime role in all of our essential body functions: breathing, digestion, and circulation.

The Manomaya is the layer of our emotions, consisting of our feelings, thoughts and memories, and even our imagination. Mano means mind, and so anything our mind filters moves through this sheath. It is our ability to perceive, reason, and process all things.

Vijnamaya is the Intuitive Body. Think of this as the higher mind… the mind that communicates with and can receive directly from Source. It is beyond the emotional thinking mind which can get bogged down with patterns, habits, and triggers, and is instead about our intuition and the inner wisdom that allows for spiritual growth and a sense that we are supported by the Universe in all we do.

Anandamaya is the Bliss Body. This is the thinnest veil of all the Koshas, and it is where we connect to our highest self or Atman. Here we abide in peace, joy, love and bliss. It is where we tap into the truest, purest aspect of what we are: Spirit. It is here we experience our interconnectedness of all things and truly understand we are not the body or the mind–we are a Soul. 

Moving through these four days of drinking ghee and the fifth day of purgation helps us to become more aware of the koshas. During the process, I am so aware of my body and the shifts that occur each day. The first day or two, the ghee is working on the most gross layers: plasma, blood, muscle, fat. The Dr. takes my Ayurvedic pulse and he can feel what tissues the ghee has saturated. Then we get a little deeper in the structure: bones and joints. Again the pulse tells us what layers the ghee has soaked into. By the third and fourth days, the ghee has penetrated the nervous system and reproductive system, and finally, as Dr. Sundara tells me on day 4, “it is now on the level of the chakras.” How is this possible? This liquid gold ghee made from butter made from milk made from the grass Lakshmi the cow ate which was nourished by the five elements: earth, water, fire (sun), air, and ether is now in my subtle body. Dr. Sundara tells me it’s even working on purifying my mind and any karmas I carry, but that’s for another post perhaps.

When I awoke this morning a thick band of clouds was pouring into the valley below. Within minutes It become a dense bank, followed by a gray-white mist that swept up and over the tea fields, and then suddenly it all dissipated into blue sky and sunlight. What was shrouded is now in the light. What was cloaked deep inside my physiology has had the chance to purify. I am amazed every time I go through this process what is possible on every level of my being. And this is just the first week!

The reward after purgation is a plate full of papaya! Oh man was it good!

With guests arriving every couple of hours, my hat shifts from being solely a patient here to one who helps to create this sacred and safe container for others to experience the jewels of Ayurveda and its healing blessings. How lucky am I?

with love,

Katie

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The Journey Begins ~ India 2023

Katie

Karin and I board the Delta ~ KLM flight from Boston to Amsterdam an hour before departure. My new Osprey backpack, which I chose for its compact profile, already feels heavy. The plane fills slowly, and we find there are many center rows completely empty, so once the plane is aloft, we snag a row each and plan our rest. After a quick dinner, I make a pile of pillows, cover myself in a blanket, and I’m out. This is only flight one of eleven we’ll take in six weeks, so four hours of uninterrupted sleep is a blessing on the beginning of this journey.

As we approach Amsterdam, the neon red sun is rising. I catch this snap as we taxi to the terminal:

Our 5-hour layover begins with a black coffee and a perfectly crisp croissant with butter and jam. We chat for a bit, then find a nook to sit and check emails. I lay down on the green vinyl couch and fall fast asleep. Karin has to shake me to wake me. Our departure gate has changed, and by the time we get there, it’s a pile up. Our section is already boarding, and we are miles from the top of the cue, so we wiggle up and pass through. Thank goodness. It’s a full flight and the overheads are bursting long before boarding is complete. I am in a window seat behind Karin with two Indian men to my left. It’ll be 8 hours to Mumbai on the inside, and I know I’m going to have to pee at least twice on this flight, so I make friends with my neighbor, Rajat, who immediately asks if I’ve been to India before, followed by his wondering about my favorite Indian meal. He tells me to try Pav Bhaji and Vadapav. I write it down, and a few minutes later ask if I can get by to go to the restroom.

We touch down in Mumbai on time at 2:15 am, but the plane is chockablock full, so it takes an age to disembark, and by the time we get to customs, the lines snake around in long coils and don’t seem to be moving. We have 3 hours ‘til the next flight, so neither of us is concerned, but then we learn our connecting flight is taking off at a different terminal requiring a taxi or bus ride. Karin asks a customs attendant about the wait line and if there is a way to expedite our getting through to our connection. We are directed to a different line with a half dozen or so people ahead of us (which was like a dream when looking back on the crowd of easily a thousand travelers all waiting in the snake coil). 

Ahead of us is a couple who can’t seem to get through customs. They have to do their fingerprint images over and over on the little machine. The customs agent barks commands. By the time we get up there, another 15 minutes have gone by. No movement in the coil to our left. Three tries and my fingerprints are finally accepted–I’m through! Then Karin. We literally take off through duty free, which forces you to wander in a zig zag through chocolate and perfume. People stroll leisurely, but we need to book it, so we carve our way through, and sprint out of the main terminal to the bus lot. The driver and baggage attendant care nothing about our attempt to make our connection, and in fact say we have “plenty of time,” but by now it’s 4 am and our next flight is at 5. No worries, I tell myself as Karin and I sweat in the pre-dawn heat. Another 15 min, and the bus finally pulls out, packed full with foreign nationals just like us all trying to catch connections. 

By the time we get off the bus, the “Go First” check in line is out the door. We report to the ticket counter, and the receptionist tells us the gate is already closed, but tells us to “cut the line,” and get to the front fast. No one bats an eye as we again maneuver our way through the thicket and up to the MP checking passports and boarding passes. Karin doesn’t have an official pass, and I don’t have a seat declared, so once we are through, we run to the next counter, cut the line, and the girl calls the final gate to hold what we think is the boarding gate while she prints us tickets. Another sprint, and we are directed to get on another bus (yes, another bus), which takes us ALL the way back to the International terminal to board our domestic plane. We had literally left the main terminal 90 minutes before, took a 10 min. ride to the domestic terminal, only to get a boarding pass and get back on a bus to our origin point. Only difference is that we board the plane on the tarmac. The most ridiculous time wasting travel situation I’ve ever seen. And this is normal. Once we are in the air, I look back to see the lights of Mumbai over the wing.

An hour later we arrive in Goa as the sun rises and our cab driver, Sarvesh, greets us with a smile and immediately takes Karin’s pack, and off we go. The air is thick with dew, and we drive into the morning with the windows down. Statues of Ganesh and Shiva sit on the dash, so I know we’re in good hands.

Sarvesh takes us to the pathway to our hotel in Mandrem, but it turns out to be a different place than Karin remembers from her previous trip, so we get back in the car and proceed to Morjim. The hotel is under new ownership and has a new name, but we stay anyway, and decide to give it a try.

Morjim is a bustling little town with beach bars and seaside restaurants that open onto the sand, and although our quiet little retreat is on the other side of the busy street, once the heavy bass beats begin at 1 pm, we quickly realize we’ve landed in the party zone.

The beach is lined with shade huts and chaises upon which are scantily clad sunbathers from Russia. They clearly own the beach; even the street signs and menus are duo-lingo Indian and Russian. By the time we lay down our heads just after 8 pm, the music is full tilt across the street. Regardless, I fall into a deep and long sleep. 11 hours later we awake to sunshine and crows. It’s our goal to practice yoga at least once a day, so we head to the shala, roll out a pair of mats, and practice as the sun rises. It’s hot by 8:30 am. We finish with a half hour meditation, then head to breakfast.

Our waiter brings us a bowl of fresh fruit: watermelon, kiwi, strawberries, pineapple, and dragonfruit. We order masala omelets and share a plate of aloo paratha. Oh and an espresso, which I mix with a cup of hot water to make a short Americano–just enough to brighten me up on this beautiful morning in Goa.

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The Warrior in You

Katie

All week @ Dragonfly Yoga Barn I’m weaving in Warrior 2 pose to our Flow classes. Today I opened class with a message about how we can learn to find the strength and stamina to reside in our personal power and to consider what it is we “stand up” for, while maintaining a softness that allows us to be at ease and to do our work from a heart-centered place. What is each of us here to do on this planet, anyway? Standing in Warrior 2 (or residing in any pose for that matter) gives us a chance to practice what it means to maintain a sense of ease and to remain steady and grounded even when we are under physical and / or mental stress.

At the Ganges, Rishikesh

I shared a version (as there are several) of the mythological story of King Daksha, his daughter Sati, and her husband Shiva, the lord with the matted hair and dreadlocks, blue skin, a man deeply connected to Nature and preferring to hunt and meditate than socialize. Daksha had never been impressed with his beautiful Sati for marrying such a distasteful character with his weird skin and crazy hair. Sati stayed true to herself, however, and created a beautiful life with Shiva, despite her father’s dismissal.

My photo of a mural in Varanasi: Lord Shiva

On the occasion of this story, the King prepares a huge sacrificial celebration and invites all the deities but chooses not to invite his daughter and horrendous husband. Sati finds out and asks Shiva to accompany her to the party to confront her father, but Shiva stays behind not wanting to anger Daksha with his presence, while Sati stands in her own power and marches confidently into the party to confront her dad about the lack of invitation. He taunts his youngest child, unloading his litany of reasons why Shiva is a horrific beast of a husband, who is more like an animal than a man. While her father and his company of guests laugh and jeer, Sati, in silence and with strength, and fully prepared to separate herself from her family to stand in her truth, walks past her father toward the sacrificial fire, sits down on her own, and in deep concentration and focus, immolates herself by her own internal flame and dies in front of the array of esteemed guests.

When Shiva hears of his dear Sati’s death, he is overwhelmed by grief, confusion, and an anger that becomes a rage. He explodes into unfocused action, ripping dreadlocks from his head and throwing them wildly to the ground at Daksha’s party. Two swords erupt from under the earth where the dreadlocks land and form Virabhadra, an avatar of Shiva that stands with blades drawn overhead in Warrior I stance, ready to slice heads and dominate the guests with his anger and ferocity. When Virabhadra opens his arms wide (Warrior 2), he takes aim, pointing his swords out across the horizon and focusing his intense gaze. Swiftly, he moves to Warrior 3 and slices heads from necks with the whip of his blades, including King Daksha’s own head, which rolls on the ground, leaving Sati’s father in a heap beside her own burned body.

It takes a while, but eventually Shiva reabsorbs Virabhadra into himself and can see the horror his avatar created. He immediately regrets the severity of his uncontrolled anger and power, and he wants to make amends. Have you ever felt like this? When your anger was in the driver’s seat, making it impossible to connect with your heart, your “true North” as they say? In our heart of hearts, there is no room for anger and violence; that place is reserved for love and only love. Standing in Warrior 2 gives me a chance to contemplate this reality. One of my favorite of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras is 2:46: “Sthira Sukam Asanam,” or to embody poses with both steadiness (effort) and ease (comfort and openness). For me, the “pose” this sutra refers to is every posture we make, both physical or mental, both on and off the mat. Is there too much physical effort or emotional struggle? Is there too much softness or a lack of will? Can we be strong and joyfully confident and yet empower others through compassion and with empathy? I believe we can.

There is more to the story (of course, there always is), but I’ll close with brevity and say that an available goat becomes Daksha’s new head, and with Shiva’s help Daksha is reborn with humility, as well as respect and admiration for Lord Shiva, gratefully calling him Shankar (shan / sam = happiness  + kar / kara  = cause), as Shiva restores good fortune to Daksha, whose former hatred severed him from his daughter, just as his head was severed from his shoulders. He had lost connection to his heart–clearly both men had done so. The two clear their bad blood through humility and forgiveness, and as Shiva lifts his dead wife into his arms, he weeps as he wanders back into the wilderness.

But what of Sati, the one who stood up for herself and her husband, and ultimately, what is right and true? Thankfully we don’t have to set ourselves on fire to demonstrate our love and compassion. For me, Sati is the true essence of Vira = Hero + Bhadra = Friend. I remember her when I stand in Virabhadrasana. She is the strong and compassionate warrior I want to be.

Who and what are you willing to show up for on your mat and in your life?

As in many of the Hindu stories, multiple characters come back to life, reincarnated, often with new names, and this is the case for Sati, who reincarnates as Shiva’s second wife Parvathi. But that’s another story 🙂

My point in telling the story is that we humans are often tested in this life. We have opportunities to be strong, to stand up in the face of challenging situations and people, to work hard to move through whatever is our current challenge, learning the lessons we are here to learn and hopefully while maintaining a sense of grace and ease. We breathe. We stay to do the hard work it takes to grow and evolve. While in the “fire” of the posture and in our day to day lives, we are tested and may feel the well of anger or fear or confusion rise up, but we stay despite the inner turmoil. We dig deep, remain rooted and connected to the Source, and by doing so we become polished, transformed, move closer to our true essence, with an opportunity to rebirth ourselves with greater clarity, more compassion and forgiveness for ourselves and others, and igniting a deeper sense of purpose for our walk on this planet.

with Shiva at the Isha Temple in Coimbatore, India

This is my hope this week as we explore the challenges of Warrior 2 and all poses. If you’ve been rolling out your mat, thank you for showing up. Next time the pose could be a little harder–held a little longer. Are you ready? I think you are. All you need to do is show up for yourself and see how your Warrior story unfolds.

With love and many blessings,

Katie

© 2022 Dragonfly Yoga Barn

All images in this post belong to / were created by the author.

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Essential Oils for Winter Health Class

Katie

DATE: Wed. Dec. 17th

TIME: 9:30 am, after yoga class!

COST:  FREE!!!

TOPIC:  Have you ever wondered about how to use essential oils effectively and which ones are beneficial for your health during cold and flu season?  Sanja Chambers and Katie O’Connell will offer an informational session on Essential Oils for Winter Health, including individual oils and blends created for respiratory wellness, emotional well-being, and even how to cleanse your environments of bacteria and viruses that lead to sicknesses we are often exposed to during the Winter months and year round!  Join us for a short presentation on how to begin or deepen your practice with essential oils!

RSVP:  It is helpful if you rsvp so we have enough materials for all who attend. All are welcome, whether you rsvp or not! rsvp to: dragonflyoga@gmail.com

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RDC Yoga Retreat~Lock in this year’s rates for 2016 NOW!

Katie

Dragonfly Yoga & Rockywold-Deephaven Camps Present
Relax & Renew Yoga Retreat
Thursday, June 9 – Sunday, June 12th, 2016
with Katie O’Connell, E-RYT 500
Candace Renfro Kayak

Energize and nourish your body & soul with daily yoga classes, meditation and pranayama, T’ai Chi, wholesome food, optional day hikes and kayaking, and time relaxing on beautiful Squam Lake. All activities are included in your investment. Do as much or as little as you like!

All-inclusive 4-day/ 3-night retreat: $695 (this is the 2015 Rate–Book by Sept. 15th to lock in rates for 2016!!  After this, rates are subject to RDC’s regular annual increase). All rooms have twin beds, shared baths, and are in one of Rockywold-Deephaven’s beautiful lakeside lodges!! 9 meals, lodging, kayaks, daily classes & workshops, and all taxes included. Check-in 3 pm on Thursday, and check-out after lunch at 2 pm on Sunday. Optional extras include licensed massage therapy, Reiki, and Thai Yoga Therapy. Request a roommate or let us pair you with a new friend! Some singles available on first come-first served basis. Some private cabins available upon for an additional rate–please inquire: dragonflyoga@gmail.com

REGISTER NOW for BEST Availability!  Spots are going quickly in Greenwood Lodge!
RDC Registration 2016 
Mail form to: Dragonfly Yoga, 280 Bennett Street, N. Sandwich, NH 03259